At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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