Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize