Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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