just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
