I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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