Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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