We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
