Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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