I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
