If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
