After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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