I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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