i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
