SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The beer is more important than you right now.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
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