porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
