Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
