The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
