he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
