no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
