my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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