friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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