Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
