She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
