3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
