you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They have beer where we have blood.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize