I'm going to jail i love you
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
