i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
