try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
