He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
