You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
