I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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