Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize