her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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