this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
its not stalking. its research.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
