I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
