the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
