I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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