Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
