i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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