I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
