Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
