come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
