I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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