I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
