If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
