Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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