it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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