I can tuck mytits in my pants
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
