no. you can't hotbox the world.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize