glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
It's Friday. Sex?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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