If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
