He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
