how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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