or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
