Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
