i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
