After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
