you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
