He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize